MY EVIL CORP HEADQUATERS..... ©

IM FINALLY DONE WITH EXAMS AND I CAN FINALLY GO HOME UGHGHRHHGHGHGH..... just came back from my last one and yeah whatever awful fucking send off cos i ran out of time and idin teven get to finsih it cause im so fucking slow i can finally enjoy summer yayy.... and draw (!)(?) im not feeling eixcted at all iits proalby jsut the exam that put me off real bad but whatever i give it a day or so i can finally go back home and sleep in thats waht im most exicted for. THis could be one of the last posts ill make in a while becuase tommorw ill be handingn in the laptop i borrow from school so won thave any deivice to post i cannot afford the old laptop i used to have and i dont want to waste money on a subpar one so im just stuck with nothing so far idk my life or thought arent that thrilling that im going to be figithng tooth and nail to get my words out there on neocities LOL. apart from that yessss.. are u guys gonna be supriesd with waht i say next? propably not but still no progress on basiclly any of my porjects because whilst yes i have holiday i also have a job now LOL so after two weeks or so ill be wageslaving RIP worlds shortest summer

Ive had my artist name for years really its soemthing i always stuck with because alot of people recognized me by that name ad it was some for of ideneity for me like it was both my username and my name people would adress me as but i just woke up and was chekcing my neociites oage because some parts need heavy updating and jsut staring at the front name for some reason the name started to feel really aliented to me where before i would see it and know its me i coudnt for the life of me recognize it, prior in the past i didint like it lateron because i was just insecure and emabrrsed with alot of aspects of my art and knowing people could be like oh thats INSERT NAMES ART was so euh yk it sounds sos tupid maybe its because memeories start to fade and what not but i coudnt even remeber when i first got the name where it all started. i dont really have an artist name nor do i think i want to im fine with just being called butane seven sevens (7777777) as a username idk what people will adress me as i dont know if i even want to be adressed anymore i want to soley exist as this artist figure who posts and goes ahahah my perosnal life will NEVER be intertwined with my online "persona" ever so it feels so odd lookig at old "persoans" and accounts i had beofre because idk for this part i srs dont know how to explain it .its a bit sad rmeisnsing on the times when i was like what 15 or something making freinds on the internet and forming connections but now that im older ( im not even old im a first year in uni LOL but u get my point you are not going to get younger) its becomme harder mainitng those friednshsip and connections or even forming them in the first place beacuse it is true that any form of freindship is somethijgn that takes time and energy which im finding i have less and less of but its jsut a part of life, same way how i would draw every day hours on end making like 3 full illustrations at my peak but now it would take me less than a month to even finsigh one. Thsi forgein feeligns could alsi be because ive matured as an artist it all started start of alelve art where i would primarley do fine art and barley touched digitial art to add to my portfolio ( i would only ever do it if i needed to fluff up missing pages and would jsut bullshit LOL) becauise lowkey no one gaf its not meant to sound self depracating but when u make really quite frnakley boring ocs that look like normla people act like nromal people and the setting is in normal people land its like ok whatever whcih to each there own i dotn think the art examiner wanted to see my stupid ass OC art LOL like wow this fits great into ur theme and portoflio huh not to say that oc art is less valvube as an art form no no no its jsut something i dont liek doing. my diigtla art has always been a sore thumb to me because it jsust never fit into any aspect of my life it was jsut something i done for ymsefl but like i said im getting older and this takes time it would be smarter putting that time into something more valauble where poeple coudl actually see my art for one as i previously mentiomed before in my other enteries lots of factor goes to why id otn show people my diigtial art whcih always kills me when they beg to see my art, what do i show them? my fine art. i want to start doing more fine arts and get into the field one day because i feel like i get this freedoe with fine art with digigtial art all i know is how to draw my ocs yes i can leanr and study more but im so lazy and it takes so much time that YET AGAIN i dont have time but fine arts is so diffrent to me beacuse i can turn nothing into something its so much moe versitle, utb for now ill keep doing digitla art beacuse the downside of fine art is space and cost LOL whcih i do NOT have i guess i put so much time and effort into this damn lena game i might as well finiish it off even if it takes me years i will complete it for the 5 fans out there haha but one day i might just dissapear these feeligns of not caring will only strenghten especially when i think that the only reason i started drawing in the first palce was to distract the feeling of isolationg and bordem and jsut coinitued on with it because ppl thoguth i was good at it as yet again time and enegry went into it so might as well keep it going

My friends always used to joke that lena was supposed to be me cos we look so simialr but in reality that was never the case or my intetion, way bacckkkk when iwas still playing around witht he sotry i actually based her apperance off valrie the russia doll lady but u can probaly tell based off the upside semicirle eyes. i kinda jsut doodled her and the draamtic eyes stuck around cause i wanted to become more styliezed. i do get annoyed when peopele think that when i draw lena im drwing myself this happens more often with ppl who dont jknwo about my ocs or my art and its so annoyign i perosnally think we ook very diffrent we just both happened to be blone white girls i was gonna draw a side by side comparison but i hate drawing myself if its ot some shitty doodle or overexagerrating i wont like it i dont think i ever done a self portrait tbh. like i mentioened i absed it off valaire but it was never a hard refrence i just went through her isntragm ocne time so i could try to make a proper reffrence for lena that i could use for art in the future and than continued using the drawing turning it inot some wierd algumation the photos below i only saw like couple days ago but i think they look nice and proe my point so u can see the simulatiriyres idk what valarie has been up to i unfollwoed her ages ago becuase it was just funny loking at her shizo posts but than it turned into annoyance after a while especially with her discovering ai LOL let het that shit off my feed man i dot nhave any refrecnes or ways i aimagine lena currenlty, its all in my head really shes jsut meant to be a sterotypically pretty blonde girl so i guess ill take it as a compleimtn whne people do comparsions, the fact tat what i find attractive or try to ahcieve apperance wise is stuff i tend to draw lena having doesnt help my case, i like a blode layered hair cuts and sharp square faceshapes but woah crazy guys i have that too!! THIS MENAS ME ===== LENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mIND BLONWN. its stilll annoying like do u think lena is me? u really looked at my art and went "is this supposed to be you?" brah. ok.now its fucking akward now huh. i have like 2 close friends who seen my art anyways im very priate person i hate showinjg peopel my art idk im so fucking lame like that. most i would go to say aboutmy ocs regarding if they have any relveance with me is that i get inspired by stuff that happens to me on a day to day basis so all my ocs would tehcnally be somethig simialr to be but i think thats normal?? its a human trait i belive u get inspiredand u subconciously add it in, anwaysy enjoy my lena doodle far thign somethign idk i jsut had my last exam today and had to draw this too prove a pooint no one asked for simulatneously eating digestive white choclate biscuits mmm yum yum

okay hello lvoely peopel long time no seen...i have been doing my exams and just bveen living through life n stuff idk anywyas finally checked my strawpage to check for recents and got this one yay if u eveer want to ralk tome or ask feel free to use it, anwyays back to anon. This ones kind of old but i assume u were talking about when i made my ranodmo instagram sotrye posts for those who dont know or didnt see i talked about how i stopped drawign cettain ocs or didnt really fw them anymore but im fianlly posting about it proprler. ill try to explain my bestg and use proper enlgish cos ifuckign hate spelling and grammar and and and but anwyays. The story has lawyas been pyschoolgical horror and nothing else, it follows Charlote as she has to cope through all the awful things that happens to her and deal with it whislt trying to esacpe, u must be htinkign well muh why wouldu write this? CLEALRY u must be into it and no LOL i hope thats not whatu got from it its simptl cos its intrestign to me to write . Kros and Charltoe were never eatn to be soemthign toglorify or osethign else more dgeenrate and i hage said that like a billion times which brings me to my biggest gripe. as i previously mentioend i used to post to a smal community of peopel this chanegd when my art would "blow up" on twitter. BEASUCE the most insufferbalke peopel started accumuilating and interacting with it and im talking about those annoyign fucking "omg me and who" or "i wish this was me" peopele, suddently instead of artists who likede drak ficiton i got peoopele who didnt see my work as art bu rather sefl insert jerk porn they could repsot and be fuckign annoying on the intenret with MADE ME SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! genoaully just cos i draw darker things doesnt mean im a fuckign weirdo so dont fuckign follow me if ur some societal cretine NORMAL PEOPEL ON MY PAGE ONYL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. to an extent i do blame myself yeah lol maybe i shouldve toned down some of the art or drawn it a bit diffrently i get that but bro this is the shit that ameks me tweeaakkk out espeically when i would make statemnts being like hey... guys just a remoiner that this is just evil ficition right....guys?. with aritst espc aritst with dark topic ocs u can lwokey see who takes it serious or who is secreltly itno it based on how the ydraw it LOL and i would say even if i tried making the art more sincester and like HEY GUYS...CLEALRY THIS IS BAD RIGHT? LIKE U CAN CLEALRLY TELL JUST BY LOOKING THIS IS BAD AND SHE IS SUFFERING RIGHT? RIGHT?!?!?!?! but i guess it made it even worse????????????????// .......... amoungst this and other htings too and yes gthis might be a bit contreverial to peopele depedning on their take but as i mentioned before i had hese ocs for years, i spent so much time nd enegry wiht these ocs like yes even if i dont use them they were my ideas, whenever a draiwng would gain traction i kid you not (icounted) i had poeple who would follow me and than drop ocs exactly the same as mien ( highest couunt was 2oc and some changing their ocs from one drawing), do i own albino and brown haired ocs? no i dont, like hwatever take insepration but straight up copying come one.... but you knwo damn well what i mean if youve known me for a while you knwoing i hate being heaviy refrences so seeing somethign i put so much time and effort itno just be ripped off also annoys me this sialso the reaosn why i never ever wanedt to share the lore in depth and never have .call me prentuious o stupid but idc thats just my thoguht if u saw what i saw u would get what i mean. TDLR : its corny and edgy and i hate dealing with weirdos

ok yay everhtign has been going good so far i havent had art blokc for a while and ive beend oign some studzing for my exams hip hoop hoooray if ianlly deicded to take help on baord cos i know that i reallzy coundt do everhtying on my own and it woudl take years i got some amazing lvovley voluteers ( whom i still need ot make an anouncment post about ) helping with the gaem and i eveen found a composer now i really need to just get my script done im struggling on those filler random scenes sometimes i feel like i have no idea what im doing but i jsut need to keep going at it thats all exicted for summer where i can make crazy progress????????????? need to finsihe my exams first tho SIGH still with all the art progress and script stuff still upset how i cant actually TEST it out this is proably bad but i was doing the crazy code stuff before finsih the code cos i was rlly scared once i out eveything into renpy and wanted to get bastract with the code it would fuck evetything up real bad so i would jsut test the code before hand with any eacky ideas i had so i knew it was possible i rmeber having like gta ass mechanimncs on the game i spent days on only to scrap it out of frustration ahhhahah

erm awkard have englected like eveything for like what 6 months wow awesum uhh ok to catch eevtyhgin up to speed i guess for those who dont know my laptop that ive been doing all of the lena visual novel stuff fucking died LOL straight up. appaerenlty w a heavy duty laptop like mine ( RIP ) u have to change the thermal paste every 3 years EHICH FIRST OF ALL side tnagent when it was tweaking out i went to the IT shop they watsed my TIME AND CHARGED ME 100 BLOODY DOLLARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and than i got my laptoo back and it was still borken LOL even afyter they kept burshing me off and doing absoueltley nothing they finally handed me back my laptop and told me that the cpu is dead...woaw.. awesum they said they could try wiping my pc to see if itll fix it so i went home put all o the files and stuff on a memeory stick anad went back. so anwyays to cut ti short i have still have NO idea if anythig on that stick is backed uo so possible compleltpe game dleetion of the cisual novel ive been working for years??????????????? uhrm gulp. ive been borrowing a laptop from the libary so far but still cant chcek to see if all my progress is gone or not cos i cant downlaod renpy and im lowley also scared LOL ingorence is bliss anyways i have holdiays soon been drawing n stuff and finallly deicded to see myy neocitiries agaian, usign this as the mega cope veofre the impending doom whcih is my exams but also this website is sooo scuffed i need to revamp it ASAP!!!

Been very nervous about uni, the uni im going to doesnt offer an art degree but there is another uni close by that does been thinking of emailing them and reaching out to see if i could borrow their facilliaties cause i wanna still do art regadless of the degree im taking, jsut gonna have to figure out how im gonna deal with the space and figuring out how to take it home.....been wanting to paint again but im not sure how big my accom is hopefully large enoguh so that i can store my canvases on another note i recently got a leather stamp 4 all my leather work ive been meaning to finally get around to kind of disappointment i still havent...summer was meant to be this big art discovery thing where i try lots of diffrent medium but its gone by so fast i still rmeber setting up the sewing machine and researching leather needles to work with like it was yesterday anyways gonna buy some tooling leather to test it out so that i can than stich it onto my works. Praying that when i do eventually email the Uni theyll be kind enough to let me because i saw they have a metal and cermic workshop instore that ive foaming at the mouth to try brah

Sup brahs i wanted to make a blog simply cause im bored but cause also just wana sperg out about art and other random stuff. IF YOU SEE SPELLING OR GRAMMAR MISTAKES NO U DONT!!!!!!!!! this is all just for fun and isnt meant to be serious ill update it when i feel like it or when i wanna be talkative.... hopefully ill get around to decorating thsi html cause it look so barebones, still tryna figure out how i want it to look like. No rules 4 now expt no changing blog past a day unless i noticed some super bad spelling mistake